The Selfless & The Selfish
by NarcohypniaXNikki
Summary: Lilith had known all along that she never belonged in the abnegation faction. It wasn't the fact that her parents hated her or beat her to submission every night. It wasn't even the fact that she had been named Lilith by her strictly religious parents. It was the fact that she knew she couldn't even help herself, so how was she supposed to help others. It was the fact that she...
1. Introduction

The Selfless & The Selfish: Introduction

Lilith had known all along that she never belonged in the abnegation faction. It wasn't the fact that her parents hated her or beat her to submission every night. It wasn't even the fact that she had been named Lilith by her strictly religious parents. It was the fact that she knew she couldn't even help herself, so how was she supposed to help others. It was the fact that she liked to stare at herself and her bruises to remind her why she wanted out. As far as Lilith was concerned, she had only cared about herself for as long as she could remember. That's why her parents punished and despised her.

But, soon, she would be free. Soon, she would be rid of her parents and no one could stop her from doing the things that she wanted to do. She was tired of being controlled and tired of being told how to act. She didn't care what others thought of her and didn't want to help them. Why should she? What had they ever done for her?

The Candor told her things she already knew. The Erudite talked incessantly about minuscule details. The Dauntless could care less about anyone, but themselves. The Amity just cared about their own faction and the peace within it. And the Abnegation are so obsessed with helping everyone else that they don't even care about the people in their own faction, so obsessed that the parents try to break their children's will to care about oneself to the point of physical abuse.

Lilith has had just about enough of all the factions and her parents. And the only faction that sounds remotely appealing to her now is Dauntless. A faction where she could be free, be selfish, and not care what anyone thought of her. A faction where she could get strong and face her fears. As far as Lilith knows, she's only afraid of seven things.

Her Parents

The Unknown

Darkness

Physical Contact

Thunder & Lightning

Animals

Falling

Her parents are an obvious fear of hers for obvious reasons. The unknown scares her, because the world she lives in now with the factions is all she's ever known. The darkness is when she knew her parents would come home to beat her. Physical contact for more obvious reasons. Thunder and lightning reminds her of "God's wrath" as her parents would say to make her submit to their faction's rules. Animals for their lack of submission and own free will. In her mind, those two things are the most power anyone could have. Falling reminds her of feeling helpless and pain to come.

Lilith wants to get rid of these fears for good and the only way she's been taught to get rid of something is by facing it head on. Follow Lilith on her journey to see which fears she eradicates and which ones stay. See how well Lilith does through the Dauntless initiation. Will she fail horribly and become faction-less and scared for the rest of her life? Or will she prevail at the top and remain Dauntless?


	2. Chapter 1

The Selfless & The Selfish: Chapter 1

Lilith had been preparing for this moment for as long as she could remember. But now that it had finally come to her all she could feel was peace. She remained as quiet as always and moved silently as always. She did not help anyone and she did not pay any attention to them either. Today was all about her. Today was the day that she escaped.

Today was the day of The Choosing Ceremony. Lilith waited in line patiently with her fellow classmates until her name was finally called. She walked without nervousness or hesitation to the stage. She had already made this decision a long time ago. Marcus Eaton, their leader, handed her the silver knife and Lilith took it delicately. She put the point directly into her hand and pricked her hand, instead of slicing it.

There was some murmuring, but Lilith ignored it. She had pictured herself doing this a thousand times. She held her hand in a fist before carefully letting a drop of her blood go onto the burning coals. The Dauntless immediately jumped up from their seats and cheered. Lilith smiled with confidence then and she paused on the stage to look at her parents one last time. Her father's face was a tomato red and her mother glared daggers in her eyes.

Lilith smiled wider before stepping down from the stage to her faction. A few of them clapped her on the back forcefully before they all took their seats again. More names got called and more people chose where they wanted to be for the rest of their lives. As Lilith thought about the changes she had just made, her smile stayed willingly. It was the most she had smiled in ages.

When everyone had finished choosing, the Dauntless were the first to leave. They crowed and hollered as they stampeded out of the room at a run. Lilith followed them at a brisk pace, her heart racing faster than ever before. For the first time in a long time, she felt alive. They all raced down the stairs and ended up stopped at the train tracks. Lilith's heart stopped as she felt the tracks vibrating beneath her. She had seen the Dauntless do this many times and it always had the same effect on her every time. She really hoped that jumping on and off the train didn't trigger her fear of falling. She closed her eyes as the fear struck her to her very core and flashbacks went through her mind quickly.

Before it was her turn, she took a deep breath and opened her eyes at the precise moment. She took off at a sprint and grabbed the car door handle before hoisting herself up into the car with all the others. The train started to go faster and Lilith saw a boy get left behind. She sat down then and rested her head against the wall with her eyes closed.

"You're from Abnegation, right?" A girl asked next to her.

Lilith opened her eyes with a narrowed gaze.

"Whoa, easy there. I was just asking a question. Anyways, my name's Christina. I'm from Candor." The girl added.

"That explains a lot." Lilith replied emotionlessly.

"Do you have a problem?" Christina asked then in anger.

Lilith sighed then and stuck out her hand to Christina before saying, "I'm Lilith and I was in Abnegation."

Christina looked at her hand hesitantly, no doubt the name giving her reason to pause. Lilith was used to this and she waited patiently for the girl to make her decision. Usually whenever she introduced herself to the very religious Abnegation, they would quickly walk away from her with fear. To her surprise though, Christina gave Lilith a formal handshake, no excessive movements and no limp grip. Lilith's eyes widened a bit and she retracted her hand awkwardly. A memory of her father gripped her wrists to hard came to mind immediately.

Her hand formed into a fist at the flashback.

"Hey, they're jumping off." Someone called out bringing Lilith out of her thoughts.

Lilith and Christina quickly looked out the door to see that all of the Dauntless were, in fact, jumping off. Lilith sucked in a breath and mentally cursed herself. If getting on the train didn't feel like falling, jumping off of it certainly would.

"Hey, will you jump with me?" Christina asked with a slightly panicked tone.

Lilith looked at her in confusion.

"I can't go unless someone comes with me." Christina added.

Lilith thought this over and realized that was the only way she would be able to go as well. She nodded slowly and the two grasped hands before getting up slowly. The train was still going at almost top speed.

"On three, okay? One, two…, three!" Christina yelled at the end before they both jumped off the train.

Lilith closed her eyes and waited for the pain to come. They ended up landing on gravel and her knees were scraped good. She couldn't believe she had just jumped onto a roof.

"Alright, initiates, this is your first test of bravery. Whoever jumps off this ledge gets to continue with the initiation and whoever doesn't… Well, let's just say you'd be better off jumping." The speaker said with a smile at the end.

You could feel the tension and fear in the air. Lilith didn't feel anything anymore, however. The instructor was right. If she didn't jump, she would be faction-less and just as trapped as she was before. After all, didn't she come here to get rid of her fears?

"Do I have any volunteers?" The speaker added after some murmuring.

It was quiet for a few seconds before Lilith spoke up, "Me."

"A stiff? You've got to be kidding me." A male voice said from the crowd as Lilith made her way up to the ledge.

She teetered carefully on the ledge in her grey v-neck and dark grey skinny jeans. She heard catcalls and knew that there was no way she could back down now. But her heart was saying no. Closing her eyes, she let out a deep breath before jumping, literally, into her fears. She was falling and tears came to her eyes as the world became a little darker around her as well.

Suddenly, she felt something hard and springy beneath her. She bounced on it and realized that there was a net waiting for her at the bottom. She let out a little laugh and wide smile came on her face. Ropes were being pulled to the side, however, and she barely had anytime to think before she almost did a nose plant to the cement. The only thing that stopped her was a strong arm around her front. It let go of her before she had any time to process it, however.

"What's your name?" A smooth voice next to her asked.

Lilith looked at him in bewilderment before halfway replying, "Lil…"

"Wanna change your name, huh? Well, think hard because you won't be able to change it again." The guy replied with a smirk.

His smirk bothered her, however, and she glared at him before replying confidently, "Lilith."

He blinked in surprise then and he paused before calling out, "First jumper, Lilith!"


	3. Chapter 2

The Selfless & The Selfish: Chapter 2

Everyone erupted into cheers then around her.

"Welcome to the neighborhood, Lilith." The guy replied with a half smile.

Lilith looked away from him without emotion, however. She didn't know what to make of him. As time went on, more and more initiates took the fall and joined them. Soon, Christina was by her side again.

"Alright, Dauntless born initiates with Lauren and the rest with me." The guy who saved her from falling called out.

Everyone shuffled to their appropriate sides before he began talking again.

"Initiates from here on out, I will be your mentor. You will call me Four." He added.

"Four? Like the number? What happened to two and three?" Christina immediately blabbed out with a laugh.

Four walked slowly up to Christina, never losing eye contact.

"If I wanted to listen to what a Candor had to say about my name, I would've joined their faction, understood?" He replied threateningly.

Christina visibly gulped and nodded.

"Alright, as I was saying, I'll be giving you a tour of the grounds. Follow me." He said as he walked away from her, leading the way.

Everyone followed obediently and Lilith found her heart beating faster than usual as her fear of darkness gripped her as they traveled through the tunnels that would become her home. She let out a relieved sigh when they finally started walking towards some light.

"This is what we call The Pit. You can do whatever you want here." Four informed us with a smile as we stopped at a ledge, literally looking over a giant pit.

He continued walking then for a few paces before coming to a stop. There was a rushing river on the side with rocks the size of boulders in it.

"This is the river. If you value your life, then I wouldn't suggest falling in." He added with a serious expression.

He moved on quickly then and soon, we were headed towards noise and artificial light. The initiates entered in what looked like an eating area and it looked as if all the Dauntless were there. They cheered as the initiates came in and Four led them to the line to get food with a smile on his face. They picked up trays and grabbed plates of food. Lilith stared at hers in confusion as to what it was before sitting down next to Christina and Four, the only table open.

"Here put some of this sauce on it." Four said, sliding her a bowl of red liquid.

"Don't you know what a hamburger is?" Christina asked as she ate hers effortlessly.

"Stiffs don't eat meat, only organic." Four replied for Lilith.

Lilith gave him a suspicious look, how did he know that?

"No wonder you left them then!" Christina exclaimed.

"Yeah, I left them for the food." Lilith replied with a roll of her eyes and small smile on her lips.

She might have even saw Four smile a little.

"By the way, Four, how did you know that about us?" Lilith asked with a smile.

"I know a lot of things." Four replied nonchalantly, not meeting her eyes.

"Were a transfer too?" Lilith asked suspiciously then.

"I thought that I'd only have to deal with the Candor asking too many questions. And now I have to deal with Stiffs too?" Four replied roughly giving me a narrow-eyed look.

Lilith rolled her eyes and replied, "It must be because you're such a good mentor."

She could feel Four staring at her then and she stared back in response, blinking once. He had a troubled expression on his face.

"Be careful, Lily." He replied then before walking away.

Lilith blinked again, but this time in surprise. Did he just give her a nickname?

"I have a theory." Christina said next to her then.

"What?" Lilith asked earnestly.

"That you have a death wish." She finished with a smile.

Lilith cracked a smile as well in response.

After dinner, they were taken around the headquarters some more before going to their bunks with Four leading them.

"This is where you'll be sleeping, get used to it. Training starts at eight AM, no excuses." Four said before leaving, shutting the door behind him.

Everyone decided to get ready for bed then, but Lilith couldn't sleep. It was too dark and everyone's breathing was too loud. A guy in the room was even sobbing loudly to himself. Still Lilith tried and a few hours later, she awoke wide awake in fear. She sat up quickly and looked all around in a panic. She remembered where she was then and hugged herself to try to calm herself down.

There were still too many people, however, and it was still too dark for her to be calm. She knew that she wouldn't be able to go back to sleep. Quietly, she snuck out of the room and closed the door silently behind her. She made her way around till she got to the training room that Four showed them. There were two lamps in the room, one over the fighting ring and one over a stainless steel table on the other side. She shuffled her way to the table and laid down on it in a ball with her eyes closed.

"If you're going to sleep in here, you might as well help me set up in the mornings." A voice said, rousing Lilith from her sleep.

She sat up quickly, hitting her head on the lamp.

"Ah." She exclaimed, holding her head with a pained expression.

Four gave her a smile and Lilith glared at him in return.

"What are you doing in here?" She growled.

"I think the question is what are you doing in here? You could get in a lot of trouble for this." Four replied smoothly.

A blush came on Lilith's cheeks and she meekly replied, "I couldn't sleep."

"Most initiates can't before training day. Tell you what, I won't tell anyone as long as you help me set up, deal?" Four replied easily.

Lilith nodded in response.

"Alright, I want you to set up nine targets and put 45 knives on the table. You got that?" Four asked, loading a gun.

Lilith nodded again and hopped off the table to start. They worked together quietly, but stole glances at each other every once in a while.

"If you're done, you can go get changed and eat breakfast. You've got thirty minutes." Four said when he was on his last gun.

Lilith stared after him for a while before turning around to leave the room. She quickly changed in the empty room with the bunks, knowing everyone else was at the dining area. She quickly headed that way. When she got there, she grabbed a muffin and sat down next to Christina. She was with others as well.

"Where were you?" She asked curiously.

"I couldn't sleep." Lilith simply replied before diving into her muffin.

All of the initiates started walking towards the training room, after ten more minutes. Christina simply talked to the others for the rest of the time.


	4. Chapter 3

The Selfless & The Selfish: Chapter 3

Lilith walked into the training room with all of the others, where Four was waiting for them with a dagger in his hand.

"Welcome to your first day of training. Today you'll learn how to fight, shoot, and throw a knife." He said with a serious expression on his face.

"First, we'll start with shooting." Four added, turning away from them then and walking towards the target area.

Everyone followed him and he began to instruct them on how to hold the guns. Then he taught them how to aim and when to push the trigger.

"Alright, I want all you to start practicing now and remember what I taught you." He added at the end, letting the gun in his hands aim at the floor.

Lilith was hesitant and her heart hammered inside her chest. She had never used a gun before. What if she accidentally shot someone? What if she was horrible? What if she dropped it and it shot someone?

"Lilith." Four called out to her, bringing her out of her fear-filed thoughts.

She looked up immediately with wide eyes of trepidation and their eyes locked. Four gave her a small smile and she looked around her to see that everyone else was at their stations.

"Come on, Stiff." A boy's voice called out to her with a mocking laugh.

Lilith shot a look at the boy. It was the same one who mocked her when she had volunteered to jump first. She started walking towards Four then and quickly grabbed the gun from him. A surprised look came on his face and she just gave him a look of determination. Four nodded slightly at her before leaving her to her station.

"Alright, start practicing." He said, once he had given them enough room.

Immediately, the room started to fill with the sound of guns firing off. Lilith closed her eyes and took a deep breath. Then she opened them and locked onto the target just as Four had taught them to. Her hands were shaking though and her whole body started to shake as well. She almost dropped the gun from her shaking, but two strong hands steadied her. She blinked as she came back to reality and she realized that someone had saved her from her worst nightmare coming to life.

"Just take a deep breath, easy. Focus on the dot in the middle of the target. Nothing's going to hurt you. When you're ready, pull the trigger." Four's voice whispered in her ear.

A shiver went down Lilith's spine and she was surprised to feel composed with his hands holding hers. She stared at the target then and with a blink, she pulled the trigger. It went straight through the middle and Lilith blinked with surprise.

"There you go." Four said with a chuckle then, releasing her.

Lilith let the gun aim at the ground and turned to look at Four. But he was already moving away from her.

"Alright, that's enough shooting. Let's move on to fighting." He said to them.

Lilith's eyes went wide again and she looked at the others to see that they had used up almost all of their bullets. A blush came on her face then and she took the gun off of her slowly before joining the others. Four demonstrated where to hit and what technique to use on the heavy striking bags. He told them to just practice and try to get the movements down. Everyone went to their own stations again.

Lilith faced her target with determination again. She was going to hit this. Just like her parents had hit her… Anger swelled up inside her then and she began striking just as Four had taught them. Surprisingly though, hitting the target only seemed to calm her down. She was so focused on striking it that she didn't even notice it swinging dangerously from her force.

She was practicing her kicks when with her last one it had busted off the chain, sending it crashing into the wall. She blinked in surprise again and couldn't believe that she had done that.

"Geez, Stiff." The boy who always mocked her called out.

"Jesus, Lili" Christina also said.

Lilith was too wrapped in her own thoughts as she slowly walked toward it to notice that Christina had used her nickname that Four gave her.

"Alright, that's enough training for today. You're free for the rest of the day." Four called out, watching Lilith carefully.

Everyone started to leave then, except for Lilith and Four. Lilith heaved the striking bag over her shoulder and brought it over to Four.

"Sorry about that." She muttered, still looking at it.

In her mind, it was like she had just killed her parents in front of her own eyes. Four still hadn't said anything though and she looked up at him with curiosity.

"You seemed pretty angry back there." Four said with his back to her as he put the knives back in the storage.

Lilith looked away then and didn't reply back.

"Is there a reason behind that?" Four asked her, turning around to look at her with a serious expression.

"What, so you get to ask questions, but I don't?" Lilith replied with a glare as she crossed her arms.

Four glared right back at her before turning around again and saying, "You're free to go."

Lilith rolled her eyes then and stalked out of the room. She decided to go to the sleeping area and noticed almost everyone else there as well.

"Got some pent up anger in there, Stiff?" The boy who always mocked her called out.

"Yeah, so why don't you shut up." She replied curtly as she walked by.

She could feel him glaring at her from behind, but she didn't care.

"What was that all about, Lilith?" Christina asked her when she sat down next to her.

Lilith shrugged her shoulders and simply replied, "I guess I didn't realize how angry I was."

Christina simply nodded and replied, "Yeah, well, some of us were going to get something to eat and then go get tattoos and new clothes. Do you want to come with?"

"Sure." Lilith replied with another shrug of her shoulders.


	5. Chapter 4

The Selfless & The Selfish: Chapter 4

Lilith followed the others to the dining area and they grabbed some food. She was introduced to the others and learned that their names were Will and Al. After eating and a bit of talking, they decided to go do some shopping. Christina decided to put on a sports bra and some athletic pants with a wide elastic band at the top. Al chose a simple tank top and some sweat pants with tennis shoes. Will chose a T-shirt and athletic pants with tennis shoes.

Lilith chose to wear a ribbed tank top and some leather pants.

"What is this?" Lilith asked, looking at some odd looking utensils and brushes.

Christina giggled a bit and replied, "It's makeup. I suppose you've never seen it before. Come on, I'll buy you some and give you a makeover."

Lilith hesitated and didn't reply as she kept staring at the cosmetics.

"It'll make you look even more dauntless than you already are." Christina added then.

Lilith paused still, but eventually nodded and followed Christina to a stool.

"Sit." Christina commanded.

Lilith gently sat down and Christina went to work on her face.

"There, now you look stunning." Christina said once she was done with a smile.

Lilith gave her a smile and got off the stool to look at the full length mirror that was behind her. Her eyes had lines all around them and her eye lashes were longer. She had red lipstick on as well and something red on her cheeks.

"What is this?" Lilith asked with wonder as she stared at her reflection.

"Makeup, I told you that you'd look good." Christina replied with that smile still on her face.

"Thanks." Lilith replied with a slight smile at her.

"No problem. Let's go look at the tattoos now." Christina said.

They found the boys then and they both smiled at them.

"Looking good, guys." Will said approvingly.

"Yeah, you guys look great." Al added.

Then they went onto the tattoo parlor and club area that Four had showed them yesterday. Christina ended up just looking and not getting anything along with Al. Will ended up getting a Chinese symbol that meant strength. And Lilith decided to get a dauntless symbol as well as an upside down cross with one on each shoulder.

"Nice, Lili." Will complimented with a small smile.

"Thanks, I like yours too." Lilith replied back with slight smile.

"Alright, you two, let's go back." Christina said then.

They started on their way back down the stairs to the club when they noticed Four and some others talking loudly. Four was laughing and had his hand on a friend's shoulder. They stared at them as they began to walk past them.

"I wish he was like that with us." Christina commented.

"Yeah, talk about a complete change of character." Will added.

Lilith nodded in response as they almost walked past him.

"Hey, Lili, come here!" Four exclaimed with a hand gesture for her to come to him.

Lilith stopped in her tracks and blinked.

"What does he want?" Christina asked.

"I don't know." Lilith replied before she weaved through the crowd to get to him.

She was very careful to make sure no one touched her more than necessary. By the time she got to him, he was smiling.

"You look good." He said.

Lilith blinked slightly and replied, "Are you intoxicated?"

Four laughed and replied, "Why not? Oh, but I suppose I shouldn't be in front of you. Go on with your friends."

Lilith rolled her eyes before turning around on her heel. She started to weave through the crowd again to her group when she felt a palm slap her ass. It was like an immediate instinct. She immediately whipped around and had kneed the assaulter in the groin. Four was right there as well with an angry look on his face and a fist ready to punch the man in the face. Lilith's eyes went wide when she realized this.

"You don't touch her. You got it?" Four said to the man with a threatening tone.

The man nodded with wide eyes of fear and Four let him scramble up to his feet. He gave one look to Lilith and one at Four before he left in a hurry. Four turned to her then and put a hand on her shoulder with a serious expression.

"Are you okay?" He asked, looking right into her eyes.

Her hammered inside her chest, but she didn't shrug his hand off like she thought she would. A blush slowly came to her cheeks and she bowed her head so he couldn't see.

"Yeah, I'm fine. Thanks." She replied.

Four stared at her in wonder for a second before releasing her.

"Alright, go on to your friends then. I'll see you guys tomorrow for training." He said.

Lilith nodded before turning around again and going to her friends.

"What was that all about?" Christina immediately asked.

"I don't really know…" Lilith replied as she took one last look at Four.

He was staring back at her and she blinked before looking away. They moved on to the sleeping area then and left the club for good. Lilith stopped talking after that and simply laid on her bed, staring at the ceiling as her thoughts consumed her. Why had Four done that? What did he care what happened to her? Or who touched her?

I mean she was glad that he was there, sure. But why? Why did he do it? I mean she wasn't anything special… So why?

Lilith turned to her side and faced the wall then before closing her eyes. Oh, well, who cares… At least he was there. It seemed like he was always there now. Always at her side. Always there to help her when she needed it.

With those last thoughts, Lilith drifted off to sleep.


	6. Chapter 5

The Selfless & The Selfish: Chapter 5

Lilith was in the training room again. Four stood in front of her with his head bowed and his arms tensed. His hands were in fists out at his sides. He was wearing a tank top like hers with dark jeans and combat boots. Her heart hammered inside her chest.

"Four?" She called out hesitantly.

He slowly lifted his head then and faced her with a dark look. If looks could kill, she'd be dead right now. Then all of sudden he had knives in his hand that he threw expertly at her. She barely dodged them and once they were gone, Four charged at her with a roar. He took her down to the ground and pinned her with his knees and hands. Lilith looked up at him with fear-filled eyes.

Four held her wrists in one hand above her head and his knees pinned down her legs. Slowly his face came closer to hers and she turned away. He grabbed her chin roughly then with his other hand and tears came to her eyes.

"Stop it." She mustered out.

He didn't reply though and his face came closer to her own until his lips smashed down upon hers. She struggled then, but he had a firm grip on her. His hand started to travel up her shirt and Lilith cried for help.

Lilith awoke with a gasp and sat up on her bed then. It was pitch dark and her heart raced inside her chest like she had just ran a marathon. Real tears came to her eyes then as she realized her nightmare was a mix of her fears wrapped in one.

She slowly got off the bed then and snuck out of the room. She didn't make it very far however before she sunk down a wall and started crying. It all felt so real. Would Four really do that to her? She could still feel hands on her torso, crawling their way up her body. She could have sworn that she felt the smothering kiss as well as a strong hand gripping her chin.

"Lili?" A voice called out to her.

Lilith stopped crying immediately and looked up to see him. The one from her nightmare, Four.

She crawled away from him then and said with a fear-filled voice, "Stay away from me."

"Lilith, what's wrong?" Four asked her, coming closer.

She had backed herself in a corner now and held a hand out to stop him from coming any closer.

"Just stay away from me." Lilith said as more tears came, dropping her hand.

Four crouched down in front of her then and lightly touched her chin to bring her head up.

"Please just go away." She whispered shakily.

Four frowned at her and gently moved her hair from covering her face, tucking it behind her ear. Lilith shivered and looked up at him with fear.

"Jesus, Lilith. What's wrong with you?" He asked again with concern on his face.

"What's wrong with me…? What's wrong with you? Why'd you do it?" Lilith said then with narrowed eyes of anguish.

"Do what?" Four replied with wide eyes of shock.

"Why'd you help me? Why did you do it? Is it so you could have me all to yourself? Was that why?" Lilith asked with sadness.

Four stood up then with narrowed eyes and Lilith gulped.

"Yeah, but it's not the way you're thinking Lilith. I don't know what kind of family you came from, but that's not how I am. I like you, Lilith. But I would never hurt you. Just remember that the next time we meet." He replied before walking off.

Lilith bowed her head and soon she drifted off to sleep again.

* Sometime Later *

Lilith awoke to the sound of footsteps racing past her. She watched as blurs ran past her, still half asleep.

"Lilith? What are you doing there? Hurry up and get up! Christ, I've been looking all over for you! Training starts in two minutes!" Christina's voice made her fully wake up.

Lilith scrambled to her feet and followed after her in a daze. By the time they got to the training room, she had adrenaline pumping through her, making her wide awake. Four was already giving out instructions by the time they got there. He threw a knife then at the training board and Lilith flinched, looking away, as it hit the center of the target. When she opened her eyes, Four was staring at her. Heat rushed to her cheeks and she looked away from his gaze.

"Alright, now I want you guys to throw just like I did, start practicing." He said to everyone then, walking away.

Everyone went to their stations then and Lilith didn't linger as usual. She went straight for the knives, but paused once she came to her station. She picked one up carefully and touched the blade with her fingertips. She could see Four in her dream throwing them expertly at her again. The knife pricked her finger however and she was brought back to reality. Anger coursed through her veins again and she quickly threw the knife like Four had done.

It landed in the center of the head with a thud. Everyone stared at her again. It was her first try, but she had done it so easily with perfect aim. She stared at it with hatred as tears welled up in her eyes before stalking out of the room.

"Lilith, wait." Four said quietly as she passed by.

She paused a second before continuing on.

"Everyone keep practicing!" He added before going after her.

"Lilith!" Four called after her.

Lilith kept walking however as tears cascaded down her face.

"Lilith! What is wrong with you?" He yelled before slamming her against a wall, placing his hands on the wall next to her head.

"Jesus, Lilith." He exhaled as soon as he saw her face.

She stared straight back at him before saying, "Just leave me alone."

She turned away from him then.

"Not until you tell me what's wrong." He replied, trying to look her in the eyes.

She wouldn't look at him though and he grabbed her chin forcefully.

"Look at -" Was as far as he got.

It was a gut reaction and she punched him quickly on his jawline before he could finish. He let go and stumbled away from her, massaging where she hit.

"Don't fucking touch me!" She exclaimed after with her hands in fists.


	7. Chapter 6

The Selfless & The Selfish: Chapter 6

"You know, I get it, Lilith." Four replied with his back facing her and a hand on the other wall to steady himself.

"Get what?" Lilith asked with narrowed eyes.

"I get it." Four said again with more force this time, straining his neck to look slightly back at her.

Lilith rolled her eyes and replied, "Yeah, right."

She started to walk away then.

"What? You think you were the only one abused in Abnegation?" Four called after her.

Lilith came to a stop in her tracks then as the words hit her, tears coming to her eyes again.

"You weren't." Four added then, straightening himself up.

She clenched her fists again and sucked in a breath of air. Four came up slowly behind her.

"You weren't the only one, Lilith." Four said softly then with his head hung low.

Tears started to flow freely down her face again and she walked away from him at a brisk pace.

The Next Day *

When Lilith came back yesterday, she had learned that stage one of the initiates training had ended. Everyone had passed, even Lilith. Christina had asked her if she was okay and if she got in trouble. Lilith replied that she was fine and no, not yet. Now today was visiting day. Lilith dreaded the idea of her parents coming to visit. She doubted they would, but the idea still haunted her.

What would she do? Would she run away? Or would she ignore them?

"Are you nervous?" Christina asked her.

Lilith forced a smile on her face and replied, "No."

"God, I am." Christina replied, looking away from her.

"Me too." Al added.

"Mine wouldn't dare to come." Will said with a smirk.

"Why not?" Lilith asked, confused.

He turned to her with a slight smile and replied, "They're too scared."

They all kind of laughed then. It wasn't news that the other factions were scared of the Dauntless.

"Alright, visiting time." Four's voice rang out as he opened the door to the room.

All the others hurried to the door, even Will, but Lilith stayed behind. She stared at Four with narrowed eyes and he gave her the same look back. She slowly got up from her bed and made her way to the door. She almost passed him and she could feel a shock of electricity pass through them. She shivered on the spot before walking all the way through.

"Lilith." Four said, making her look back with wide eyes of fear.

"Come with me." Four said with eyes that told Lilith it was an order.

She hesitated, but nodded and followed him down the hallway. They went high above everyone else, somewhere she had never been. She watched as the others were with their families. Christina's mother and sister had come it seemed as well as Al's parents and Will's sister. She watched as they hugged each other and smiled at each other fondly. Envy hit her like a brick wall.

"It makes you envy them, doesn't it?" Four suddenly said, making Lilith come back to reality.

He had been opening a door and he held it open for her with a slight smile.

"Yeah, it does." Lilith replied slowly before walking inside.

There was a machine inside as well as a chair to lounge in just like the test before Choosing Day. Four closed the door behind them then and Lilith's eyes went wide with fear.

"Don't worry. I'm not going to try anything, I promise. I just want to show you something, okay?" Four said then with his hands out in front of him and an honest expression on his face.

Lilith nodded and Four crossed in front of her to work on the machine.

"Come here." He said then, holding out electrodes with a serious expression.

Lilith hesitated and replied, "Are we doing another test?"

Four came to her instead then to apply them and replied, "No, I wanted to show you my fear landscape."

"Your fear landscape?" Lilith asked with confusion.

He held a needle in his hand then.

"Yeah, this serum makes all your fears come to life in your mind and you have to fight them to get out of it." Four replied, staring at her.

Lilith stared at the needle in his hand, transfixed.

"You'll have to go through it in your last stage." Four added then.

Lilith looked at him then with wide eyes of fear.

"So, are you ready?" He asked then with narrowed eyes.

Lilith looked at the serum again before looking at him again. His eyes were narrowed, but Lilith could feel him tensing. He was just as scared as she was. She nodded then and Four came closer to her. He moved her hair from her neck then and stuck the needle in it. Lilith made a noise of discomfort, but didn't flinch.

Four set the needle down on the tray and sat down on the chair with another in hand. He started to stick himself with the needle then.

"Now, place your hands on the machine and brace yourself." He said before setting the needle down on the tray next to the other one once he was done.

Lilith did as she was told and Four laid down on the chair. Soon, they drifted into another world.


	8. Chapter 7

The Selfless & The Selfish: Chapter 7

Lilith felt a cool breeze and her senses told her she was somewhere else. She opened her eyes to find herself in a small room with Four. There were no doors and no stairs to lead down to another level. There was only one window that was just the right size to be able to climb through.

"What is this?" Lilith asked, looking around in confusion.

"This is my fear landscape. Follow me." Four replied with apprehension.

Lilith followed him to the window and he climbed out onto a ledge very slowly. His limbs were almost shaking uncontrollably as he forced himself out. Lilith followed easily to crouch next to him on the ledge. She found him with his eyes closed and a nervous look on his face. They were easily more than 500 feet from the ground and a small metal walkway led to another window that was about 100 feet away from them.

"Oh my god. You're scared of heights…" Lilith replied with a laugh.

Four opened his eyes to glare at her and moved towards the walkway.

"It's always been a fear of mine." He replied before standing up slowly with his arms out to balance him.

He started to walk then and Lilith followed after him. She got quickly bored of his slow pace, however, and her curiosity started to get the best of her as she came to a stop to look around.

"Is this even real?" She asked with suspicion.

"Yep." Four replied quickly.

Lilith hesitated and then asked, "So you could die in this?"

Four paused for a second and looked back at her before returning to concentrating on his movements.

"No, not really…" He replied then.

"Can it hurt you?" Lilith asked then.

"No." Four quickly replied again.

"Then why do you do this? What's the point?" Lilith asked.

"It's to try to overcome your fears." Four replied simply, almost reaching to the ledge.

"But couldn't you just fall off and that would overcome it?" Lilith asked, looking at the ground that was far below her.

"Wouldn't it be over?" She added.

"Lilith, come on." Four replied to her in a demanding voice with a hand motion.

He was waiting on the ledge now. Lilith stared at the ground for a little while longer before finally deciding to join him.

"Alright, alright. I don't understand why you're in such a rush though…" Lilith replied.

"The faster we get through this, the better." Four replied to her, going through the window.

Suddenly, they were put into a cramped metal box. There was only just enough room for them to sit down with there legs out without touching each other. Only five feet of space was between them.

"What now?" Lilith asked.

As soon as she spoke, the walls started to move in on them slowly. Her and Four's immediate reactions were to try to push against it.

"What is this?" She asked with frustration.

"I don't like small spaces. Find something to stop it." He replied with strain.

"What do you mean find something?" Lilith asked with annoyance.

"I mean think of something to stop it with your mind." Four replied, struggling.

"What?! That makes no sense?!" She replied, giving up on pushing against the walls as she realized the ceiling was coming down faster than the sides.

She laid down next to Four who was still trying to push against the walls with his hands.

"Just try it!" Four replied.

Lilith tried, but all she could think about was how dumb this was. None of it was real, so what did it matter? Why was he even stressing about it so much? It wasn't real. It didn't exist and it wouldn't hurt them. And with those thoughts the sound of metal gears grinding ceased.

It was so quiet though that Lilith had to open her eyes to see what was happening. Four was staring at a young woman five feet away from them with a gun in his hand.

"Who is that?" Lilith asked quietly.

"Someone that I don't know. She's innocent, but I don't know who she is. All I know is that I have to kill her." Four replied, raising his gun.

"Wait, why?" Lilith asked.

Four looked at her then and simply replied, "Because I'm scared too."

His eyes were filled so much fear that Lilith felt a pang in her heart for him as he pulled the trigger. With that done, they were transferred to another room. It was a basement and there was a middle-aged man standing menacingly in front of them.

"Tobias, come here." The man demanded, looking at Four.

He took his belt off then and held it in one of his hands.

"Four… What is this?" Lilith asked with a glare.

Four just stared at the man in the middle of the room.

"I said, come here!" The man yelled while coming towards them, raising his arm with the belt.

Lilith rushed forward and jumped on the man, ready to bash his face with her fist. But as soon as she made contact, it all disappeared.


	9. Chapter 8

The Selfless & The Selfish: Chapter 8

Lilith came back to reality then along with Four. They were in the same room as before. Her hands were gripped into fists on top of the monitor and she felt close to tears.

"What…was that?" She asked shakily.

"Now you know." Four simply replied, standing up next to her.

"Now I know what?" She replied back apprehensively.

Four put his hands on her arms then and Lilith almost shook them off. But she didn't. They felt too good to her. Too safe, too secure.

"That you're not alone." He whispered next to her ear.

Lilith sucked in a breath of fresh air then and looked up with wide eyes of surprise. It was as if the reality of it all had finally set in. She wasn't alone. There were others who were just like her, who had gone through the same horrible things she had. She was not alone. And Four was here to help her through it.

She couldn't hold it in any longer then as it dawned on her why he was always there for her. They were in this together. She was not alone anymore. She turned in his arms and started sobbing uncontrollably in his chest as he stroked her hair soothingly.

"It's okay, Lili. I'm here for you. It's all going to be okay. I'm going to help you get through this, don't worry." Four said reassuringly with his head resting on top of hers.

Later that Day *

After Lilith had calmed down, Four had carried her to his room on his back and set her down on his bed.

"This… This is your room?" Lilith asked hesitantly as she looked around.

"Yep." Four simply replied.

Her heart hammered inside her chest, she was nervous. She gulped and tried to calm down her nerves.

"So this is where the almighty Four broods and sleeps huh?" Lilith said then with a smile, getting up from the bed and walking around a bit.

"I wouldn't say broods… But yeah, I guess you could say that…" Four replied back with a smile, leaning against a wall with his arms crossed.

He watched her examine his room with curiosity.

"So back in that room… When we were in your fear landscape…" Lilith started as she fiddled with a bullet on his desk.

"You're related to Marcus Eaton?" Lilith finally asked then, looking up at him.

Four looked away from her then towards the floor as he scratched his eyebrow with his thumb.

"I'm his son." He replied.

Lilith blinked in response as the reality of it all set in. There were always rumors about Marcus Eaton's son being abused and shut in a closet. But she had never believed them. She never wanted to believe that their leader was so cruel. That their faction was so cruel.

"So now you know." Four repeated, getting up from his resting place and walking over to the other side of the room.

He poured himself a cup of coffee and offered her some as well.

Lilith nodded in response and added, "So you're the famous Tobias Eaton… No wonder you transferred…"

She took the coffee mug from his hands as she spoke before taking a sip.

"Yep, just like you." He replied before taking a drink of his own.

"Hmmm…" Lilith replied with a small smile in his direction.

"What?" Four asked with a chuckle, setting his coffee mug down.

"Nothing…" Lilith replied back with that smile still on her face.

"Well, it's definitely something…" Four said then, moving so that he was in front of her with hands on both sides of her.

Lilith pushed past him with that same smile still on her face.

"I was just thinking…" Lilith started.

Four watched her with a smile on his face.

"Why did you take so much interest in me?" Lilith finally finished, turning around and looking at him.

Four chuckled a bit before replying, "You reminded me a lot of myself when I first came here."

"Oh, really? Did you walk out on your instructor too on the second day of training?" Lilith replied with a teasing smile, coming closer to him.

Her heart was racing inside her chest and she didn't understand what was going on with her. She usually never craved physical contact. It was usually just the opposite. But right now she had this strange urge to be closer to him. To touch him.

"Now that, I did not do." Four replied then with a smile as he placed his hands on her hips and pulled her forward.

Lilith blinked in surprise when he did this and their foreheads rested against each others.

"You've captured my full attention, Lilith." Four whispered then as they stared into each others eyes.

A crimson blush came onto Lilith's cheeks then as her heart felt like it was about to burst out of her chest.

"As you have mine now, Mr. Eaton." Lilith said then with a smile, pushing away from him and walking away towards the door.

Four watched her walk away with a slight smile. He could tell that she wasn't ready, not yet. But it didn't matter to him. He knew what she had gone through and that it wasn't to be taken lightly. Every step that they took closer to each other was just fuel to his fire for her. He wasn't lying about her having his full attention.

Ever since he had set eyes on her, she was always on his mind. It couldn't be helped. He was falling hard for this new initiate. And Lilith couldn't help but feel the same. Something about him just calmed her to her very core. It allowed her to be herself without worry or unease.

It was the best feeling in the world that she had experienced yet in the Dauntless faction. And she owed it all to him.


	10. Chapter 9

The Selfless & The Selfish: Chapter 9

"Where were you?" Christina asked Lilith as soon as she got back to the sleeping area.

"I was talking to Four about what happened yesterday." Lilith simply replied.

It wasn't a lie. She was with him, because of what had happened. And he had showed her his fear landscape because of it as well.

"Alright." Christina replied curtly.

She could tell that Lilith was hiding something, but she didn't push it. They weren't close enough for that.

"Well, we were all about to go to dinner. Are you coming with?" Christina added.

"Sure." Lilith simply replied, following the others to the dining area.

Lilith was eager to see Four again, especially now that she knew a part of him that she didn't before. A part of him that brought him even closer to her. She would've sat next to him, but it would've been too obvious… He was sitting with his friends that he was with at the club the other night. Lilith did not belong with them. Instead, she sat with the ones she came with.

She still tried to catch his attention, however. Something that Christina didn't seem to miss.

"Why do you keep looking at Four?" She asked.

Lilith blinked as she was caught in the act and paused before replying.

"Why do you keep shooting glances at Will?" Lilith simply replied.

"I don't know what you're talking about." Christina replied with a small smile on her face.

Will's ears had gone pink and Al let out a chuckle. Lilith smiled a little as well and went back to eating. She was still a little confused, however. Four hadn't spared her a look even once. When they were done eating, they decided to just go back to the sleeping area. And Lilith had found out why Four hadn't looked at her.

The doors to the room opened and Four popped his head in.

"Tomorrow, you'll be in the ring, fighting. Be ready." He said to everyone, but looking directly at Lilith.

He left then as fast as he had came. Everyone started talking then and Lilith found the buzz unappealing to join into. She ended up laying down on her bed as she went into herself. Why did Four only look at her when he said that? She was sure there was some reason he did that. He was trying to warn her about something.

But what? Well, whatever it was she had better be prepared. With that thought, Lilith drifted off to sleep as she always did when the lights were on.

Later that Night *

A few hours later, Lilith awoke to darkness. No bad dreams this time. Just a strange urge to find Four. Quietly, she got off of her bed and left the room. She wandered the hallways as she tried to remember where his room was. She was just about to pass another one when she heard a familiar voice that stopped her in her tracks.

"Looking for me?" Four's voice rang out down the hallway.

Lilith turned to look at him as a crimson blush came on her cheeks.

"Come here." Four said to her with a hand motion for her to come closer.

Lilith walked fast towards him, but she could hardly contain herself still. She wanted to run and just jump in his arms. Instead she wrapped her arms around him as he did the same. He was still careful though as always. It only lasted a few seconds and Lilith was grateful. She didn't want her instincts to kick in like last time.

"Can't sleep?" Four asked her as they went inside his room.

Lilith shook her head in response.

"Is it the dark?" Four added then.

Lilith nodded in response.

"Well, we can leave the bathroom light on. But only on one condition…" Four replied with a small smile.

Lilith blinked and cocked her head to the side in curiosity.

"You have to let me sleep in the bed too." He said with a chuckle.

Lilith thought about this for a moment. She trusted him. But what if he still tried something?

"I'm not going to try anything. I'd just rather not sleep on the floor." Four said then with his hands up in innocence.

Lilith stared at him for a second and for a moment she got lost in his eyes. All she could see in them were honesty and intensity. He knew what he was asking. He knew it was just a little too much. But they both knew that if he tried something that it wouldn't end well. And with that thought, Lilith finally decided to trust him completely.

"Okay." She meekly replied before getting into the bed.

Four didn't reply then, he didn't have to. They were both tired. He went to turn off the main light and Lilith's heart started racing. When he climbed in the bed, Lilith felt like it was about to burst out of her chest. It was like Four could hear it though, because he grabbed her hand in reassurance. Instantly, she felt herself calm down and relax a little.

He was telling her that she was safe. He wasn't going to hurt her or try anything tonight. It was all going to be okay. With that thought, Lilith soon drifted off to sleep again.

In the Morning *

Four was already awake by the time Lilith had woken up. The sunlight coming through the windows obstructed her vision for a second. She cringed and sat up from the bed. He was putting on his jacket when he saw she was awake.

"Did you sleep well?" He asked.

Lilith nodded in response as she watched him get ready for the day.

"Good." He simply replied.

"Well, you better run along and get ready for today." He added then with his back turned to her.

Lilith messed up her face into a confused expression. What was his deal? It was like he could be so loving sometimes and then the next turn cold as ice. Lilith didn't get it and she didn't want to. With that thought, she got up from his bed and started walking out the door.

"Oh, and Lilith." Four called out to her just as she was about to leave.

Lilith stopped in her tracks in the doorway.

"If you ever need a place to stay at night… I mean, I don't mind if you come here…" Four said with a sigh.

Lilith almost laughed at him on the spot. But just put a smile on her face and kept walking. So he did care.


	11. Chapter 10

The Selfless & The Selfish: Chapter 10

Lilith went to go eat breakfast with the others and noticed immediately the difference in the atmosphere. Everyone was incredibly tense and no one was talking to each other. Even on the way to the training room, no one had said a word.

"Alright, this is the schedule today. The name next to yours is the one you'll be fighting against. We'll start from the top." Four said to them when they came in, referring to a chalkboard.

Lilith read the board carefully.

Peter vs. Al

Will vs. Drew

Christina vs. Myra

Edward vs. Molly

As she realized that she wasn't on it, her eyes grew wide with shock. Why didn't he put her on the list? Was he afraid that she would get beat up? No, it couldn't have been that. But what was it then? She slowly looked over to him, but his eyes didn't meet hers as he turned away from them.

"Will and Al, on the mat." He ordered with his back facing them.

Everyone went to their stations then. The two fighters went to the ring and everyone else stood around to watch. This was bad. It was the boy that was always taunting her against Al. Al was strong as an ox, but he wasn't very fast on his feet. Peter, on the other hand, was strong and fast.

Al slowly took a strong stance with hesitance in his eyes and Peter danced on his feet with a determined look in his eyes. Al made the first swing and Peter dodged, hitting him in the side. Al coughed up some saliva and turned around to face him. Peter came at him with a punch then, but Al stopped it with his hand. He held Peter where he was and drew his fist back. A sickening crunch sound followed as it collided with Peter's face.

"Ooohhhh." Many said as they heard it and flinched away.

"Damn." Another boy said in response.

"Jesus." A girl breathed in shock.

Lilith closed her eyes tightly and looked away, but didn't respond otherwise.

When she opened her eyes, she looked at Four to see his response. It was as serious and tense as usual.

"Alright, that's enough." Four replied.

"You fucking oaf, you broke my nose!" Peter exclaimed in anger, going towards Al again.

Four intervened and said, "I said that's enough. I suggest you go to the medic."

Peter gave him a full on glare before stalking out of the room.

"Will and Drew, you're up." Four said then before getting off the mat.

Will and Drew went to the mat. Will was tall and fast. Drew was short and a bit bulky. He had some speed on him, but he wasn't that fast. They both got into their fighting stances with their eyes interlocked. Drew was the first to attack and he knocked Will to the ground.

Will quickly slipped out from under him though before he could land a punch. He kneed Drew in the face then and he was thrown back onto the mat with a bloody nose. Will kicked him in the side, while he was on the ground. This made Drew roll over and get onto his feet. He decided to charge Will again and it caught him off guard. Will crashed to the ground again, but this time Will held on.

He got on top of Will and started to punch him mercilessly in the face. Lilith cringed again and couldn't watch as Christina grabbed her hand tightly.

"Alright, alright! That's enough!" Four said, dragging Drew off of Will by the collar of his shirt.

Will coughed up some blood and Christina hurried to him. Drew had a smug look on his face as he went back to the spot he was standing. A heavy set girl even gave him a high-five in response.

"Al, a little help here?" Christina said as she tried to lift him on her own.

Al hurried over to them and helped Christina get him off the mat.

"Take him to the infirmary." Four said as he watched them.

Al nodded and Christina watched helplessly as they left with her hands in fists. Lilith could've sworn she was going to cry.

"He's going to be okay, Christina." Four added then.

Christina quickly turned around with tears in her eyes to look at him. Four, for once, actually had a small smile on his face. Christina nodded then and went to join Myra in the ring. It was an easy match. Christina was tall and actually had some muscle on her, where as Myra was frail and small.

They got into their stances and Myra was shaking like a dog. Christina advanced towards her and Myra held up her arms in defense. Christina gave her a pitying look before kicking her in the stomach, making her fly off the mat. She ended up hitting a support beam with her head and she was out.

"Christina, will you take her to the infirmary for me?" Four asked her then.

Christina hesitated with wide eyes before nodding in response. Everyone knew why he asked her. Everyone knew that she wanted to go there anyways to see Will and that she just needed an excuse. She rushed over to the girl and picked her up to carry her out.

"Alright, Edward and Molly, you're the last and final fight." Four said then.

The two stepped into the ring and Edward looked furious. Molly had her usual glare on her face, but Edward… He looked like he wanted to kill. They got into their stances and Edward was the first one to make a move. He swiftly ran towards her and punched her in the face. She tried to block it, but he was too fast and too strong. She staggered and he kicked her from behind, sending her crashing to the ground.

He kicked her in the side then over and over until she was laying on her back, coughing up blood. Lilith watched in horror and Drew suddenly became interested in a wall.

"Alright, Edward, that's enough." Four told him.

Edward gave him a crazed look before striding out of the room. Drew left after then and Four helped Molly up.

"Lilith, I'll speak to you after dinner." He said to her as went past.

Lilith finally closed her open mouth then and nodded in response.


	12. Chapter 11

The Selfless & The Selfish: Chapter 11

Lilith ended up walking to Four's room instead of the sleeping area. She just couldn't stand to be alone at the moment, especially since she still didn't know why Four didn't put her in a match. Did he not want to see her get hurt? As she thought this, she ended up sitting on Four's bed. Her thoughts consuming her.

It just didn't make sense to her. She could've taken most of the initiates… But not without getting injured… The previous fights went through her head again. Myra flying through the air, Peter's nose breaking, Will getting beaten to a pulp, and Molly pounded to the ground. The violence of the day brought back flashbacks from her past.

She laid down and curled into a ball as if to try to shield herself from the memories. Four came into the room casually then and began to take his jacket off.

"I wasn't expecting you until after dinner…" He said in response to seeing her on his bed.

Lilith couldn't hear him though. She was in a world far away as her memories invaded her mind. She relived the pain and taunting of her parents as they beat her. They never seemed to have preference of what tools to use. They would slap her with their hands, kick her with their feet, hold her throat until she passed out, or use other instruments of torture. She cringed as she relived every single torturous moment of her past life.

"Hey…" Four said then as he realized something was wrong, putting his hand on her arm.

Lilith jerked violently and scrambled away from him immediately to the other side of the bed. Tears covered her face again and she looked completely unhinged.

"Hey, now, come on. This is why I didn't want you to fight today." Four said to her calmly with a steady gaze.

Lilith still didn't budge an inch and she was a second away from fleeing from the room. Her eyes darted to the door and to Four again. Four looked back at where she was looking and shook his head.

"Come on, now. You don't want the other initiates to see you like this, do you? Come here, let me hold you. It'll be alright, I promise." Four said then, looking back at her again.

Lilith blinked in response then and slowly untangled her limbs into a more comfortable position.

"That's right, it's okay… I'm not going to hurt you, Lili. I would never let anyone hurt you." Four added with sincerity.

Lilith stared at him a moment longer before throwing her arms around him, crying into his chest. Four let out a sigh of relief and rubbed circles into her back with his thumbs as his chin rest on top of her head.

"It's alright now. You're okay, Lili. It's going to be okay, I promise." Four soothed.

A Couple of Hours Later *

Lilith and Four ended up just talking after she calmed down. They exchanged stories of when they grew up and how their parents were. Both of their parents were strict growing up. And both believed that what they were doing was best for their child. It was amazing how wrong they were.

This time, upon arriving to dinner, Four and Lilith held hands as they walked into the eating area. The both knew it was a risk, but they couldn't stand not being able to show affection in public anymore. Many people gave them shocked looks as they came in and some were even dark. They tried to ignore them, however, and sat down to eat together.

"They're staring." Lilith said as she put sauce on her steak.

"Mhmm." Four simply replied as he shoveled a bite into his mouth.

"Should I - " Lilith started.

"Nope." Four replied before she could finish, grabbing her hand from across the table again.

Lilith stopped talking then and began to eat her meal in peace.

After Dinner *

"I always knew that there was something going on between you two." Christina said to her as soon as she got in the room.

They were in the sleeping area relaxing after dinner.

Lilith gave her a small smile and replied, "I guess so."

"You are so lucky. Maybe, he'll give you some extra points or something." Christina added.

Lilith shrugged her shoulders nonchalantly.

"Yeah, and maybe, he already has." Edward said suddenly.

Everyone in the room went silent.

"What do you mean?" Lilith replied back with a glare.

"I mean, you're the only that didn't have to fight today. Not to mention, you walked out on a training session and didn't even get punished for it." Edward added with narrowed eyes.

"I could've fought today if I wanted to. And that training session was obviously unnecessary for me." Lilith replied.

"Yeah, but you didn't fight today did you. And I wouldn't be surprised if Four was training you on the side as well just so you could pass." Edward said then.

Lilith stood up then and replied with dark look, "Are you accusing me of cheating?"

"All I'm saying is that it's a little ironic how you just happen to be Four's girlfriend and get special treatment at the same time in our training sessions." Edward replied.

Lilith's look darkened and she replied, "Well, what are you going to do about it, big boy?"

Edward chuckled then and replied, "I'm not going to do anything, because once, headquarters' find out. They'll do everything for me."

Lilith blinked then in surprise as she realized she didn't think of this. What would they do if they found out that Four was giving her special treatment? What would they do if they out that Four and her were together during her training? Would they split them up? Kill them?

"Yeah, bet you didn't think about that, did ya?" Edward added then before turning away with a smug look on his face.

Lilith ended up sitting back down on her bed with a shocked look on her face, while the others went back to whatever they were doing. She couldn't let that happen, she thought to herself. No, she would keep that from happening at whatever cost. She couldn't imagine what it would feel like to know that Four was killed or factionless because of her. It all had to come to an end.


End file.
